Today was Easter – Happy Easter to you all! This is the most enthusiasm I have mustered all day, if I am honest. Why? I realized that today was a holiday, and while we love holidays, today we were not in the mood. The kids were initially excited and happy about Easter baskets and a big breakfast from mom, but that did not last all day. No one wanted to go anywhere or do anything. The kids were content to stay home, watch movies, and do nearly nothing all day. We did our traditional egg coloring, and I tried to bring up our enthusiasm but none of us were having it today. I wish I could say that I was sad or disappointed about this, but I only felt guilty that we let the day pass by. Another day, another holiday, another moment spent apart and passed.
We are a military family. We have lived far from family for many years, and we have spent plenty of holidays apart from one another. Usually, we make the day as normal as possible – we keep our traditions, we try to celebrate with family and friends if possible, and we use technology to keep in touch with one another. This Christmas, we FaceTimed with Andy so all of us could open our presents together (it was adorable, and he loves seeing the kids open their gifts). Addie and Lorelei had Easter parties at school, and all the kids participated in an Easter egg hunt on Friday. There are some days and moments that even if the date is special or if it is a holiday, it is challenging to be your usual cheery self. Sometimes, the reality of being apart or of whatever else is happening in your life makes it difficult to want to celebrate.
Nothing precipitated this slump for any of us. The girls were scheming last night about where to hide their Easter baskets and how early they were going to wake up this morning. I felt completely normal and even planned to take the kids to the beach or a pool today. It seemed like something was off when we all woke up, and none of us could shake it.
The other element that hits me from time to time is the sadness of doing it all alone. The daily living and tasks can drain you, but holidays and celebrations can feel exhausting and lonely. We have chosen this life, even the difficult periods, and I’ve lived through birthdays, holidays, concerts, games, and other celebrations on my own. 95% of the time, I can pull off anything. I can put together the toys on Christmas Eve, I can throw a birthday party, I can handle the trick-or-treating and class parties, etc. The other 5% of the time, I just do NOT want to do it alone. I want my husband there to join the fun and to help manage the chaos of 4 children hopped up on sugar. This Easter happened to fall in the 5%. Single parents, my hats off to you; I’m not even truly a single parent, but there are plenty of moments when I am doing this solo that I am counting down the moments until there are 2 of us again. I cannot imagine doing it all-the parenting, responsibility, stress, and normalcy-by myself, all the time.
So tonight, I write not to tell you that something is wrong with us or that we are miserable this Easter. I write to say that it is not always easy, that even kids go through funks on holidays, and that even in paradise, there are somedays where you close the windows, melt your brain on movies and cartoons, and let the day pass by. We made a valiant effort this year, but we will have to catch you next year, Easter.
***Despite our funk, I hope you all had a wonderful day in whatever and wherever you celebrated! Or if you did not, I hope you had an enjoyable Sunday.***