I have not had much to write about lately. I’ve started drafts about the funny and insightful conversations I have with the kids, but I could not finish it. I wanted to write about some ideas I have had for writing, but then I felt it was bad luck. I wished I could talk about something good, something new, or something different. Honestly, there is nothing great to talk about.
I sound like I’m down in the dumps, and maybe I am a little. There is nothing inherently wrong with my life – I have a great husband, wonderful kids, a home, a steady income, and nothing much to worry about. On the other hand, my husband has been gone for 5 months and counting, and the kids are exhausting and ever changing. I go on interview after interview without a job offer that pays enough or will work with my single-parent/military wife life. I balance everything, run around all the time, and am beyond exhausted always.
Remember when you were growing up and were told that you can be anything you want to be? That you can do anything you set your mind to, if only you work hard and live a good life? As an adult, you quickly realize that these good intentions are not necessarily true. Just because you want something does not mean it happens. Just because you live in a perfect place does not mean it is always perfect. Just because nothing is really wrong does not mean that life is blissful either. It’s frustrating to work and try so hard to be met with failure or rejection.
Yet this is real life. And some days, it is difficult to not feel beaten down. I can tell myself to be positive and embrace the good (see my resolution), but there are moments where that is just too damn hard. I’ve been negative and unmotivated, and this blog is one of a few things to go neglected. I tend to keep my troubles and problems to myself, so you won’t hear much from me when I’m down. You’re welcome. 🙂
But you know what is amazing about life and people? There is always a way up, a new day, a golden opportunity, a chance…is that enough cliches for you all? I try to be very zen and remember that everything happens for a reason. I have been in every point and place of my life for a reason, whether I understand it or not. For now, I am reminding myself to be at peace with life right now. The right job will come along. My husband will not be gone forever (it has felt like it often in the past, but the past also shows that he always comes home). The kids will be kids. New experiences are abundant. I have family coming soon, which will be wonderful. In the wise words of Annie, “The sun’ll come out tomorrow.”