Days 80-81: I wish…

Lorelei got me started on this post actually.  Today, that was her mantra – “I wish…” followed by any number of requests like candy for dinner, taking a longer bath, or wanting to know why mosquitoes exist (seriously).  Her wishes made me think of all kinds of things I would wish for, so I thought I would share mine as she shared hers with me all day.

I wish…money was not an object for us.  I am a firm believer that money does not guarantee happiness and cannot secure anything.  But it would be nice to have money so we could do the things we want to do without penny-pinching or worrying.  I could go to the concert I want, I could find private lessons for the girls in the activities they want, I could plan vacations while living here without wondering if we could still eat, I could fly to see family or bring them here whenever I wanted, and I could share money with those who need it.

I wish…I could eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight.  Then again, I think this is nearly every woman’s wish.

I wish…my husband was home.  And that he did not have to deploy again.  Someday, we will not be in a war but until then, I know where he is going to be six months out of the year.  The military may need him, but I need him more.

I wish…balancing life was not so difficult.  I knew that motherhood, marriage, family life, college, working, etc. were all challenging by themselves.  Mash them all together and you have a rather tangled web of obligations and actions.  It was never going to be easy but somedays, it’s just so damn hard!

I wish…I was not so tired all the time.  That falls in line with the wish above though.

I wish…I could read all the time.  Not textbooks, scholarly articles, dissertations, and notes from school.  I wish I could read literature, poetry, plays, blogs, news – the fun stuff.  Even news is enjoyable to me.  I love books, and I always have.  It’s like being inside another world for awhile.  I can experience the conflicts of leading a tribe under siege from Christian missionaries, try to survive in the woods while being watched on television, sip cocktails during a steamy New York summer while gazing at my long lost love, and struggle with singlehood and maintaining the perfect weight while finding myself.  It is fun, enjoyable, and entertaining.  Brownie points to anyone who can name all those books I just described – they are all some of my favorites.

I wish…coffee made itself and appeared by my side constantly all day.  Similar to The Devil Wears Prada.  Hey, it’s my wish.  I didn’t way it had to be realistic.

I wish…my kids could all behave well at the same time.  It’s nice to have them behave at all, but it would be greater to have all three of them acting angelic at the same time (and preferably in public).

I wish…I knew what I was meant to do with my life.  I always think I know, but then real life gets in the way, and I’m left wondering how or when I am supposed to accomplish my own goals in life.  I spent so many years wondering who I wanted to be and where I wanted to be, and I think that I am still trying to sort it all out.  I do know that I am beyond happy to be a wife and mother, so the rest will figure itself out, too.

I wish…for more wishes.  Sorry, it had to be said.

I wish…to be happy.  It does not happen all the time, but I take the happy moments with great joy and hold them in my memory for the unhappy moments. 

So following in the actions of my silly, endlessly-chatty daughter, I will wish for any and everything.  It is fun, a little silly, sometimes outrageous, but often inspiring.  Wishes are really just things we can hope and strive for, even if they are impossible.  To wish, to dream…

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