I had a revelation tonight, one that I have had fleetingly over my latter twenties (I hate that I can say latter twenties. The big 3-0 is leering at me). The kids were at Kids Night Out on base, so I had a free night. I went to dinner with some friends at a Brazilian restaurant (the verdict? Not too bad, although a TON of meat). We are all military wives who have had our spouses deployed and will experience it again soon. We talked about husbands, kids, and life in general. We sat for over two hours eating, laughing, talking, and enjoying time together. There was no emphasis on “getting drunk” or staying out all night. There was no real gossip or dramatics. It was relaxing and really fun.
I picked up my girls and while driving home, it hit me – I had a really good time just being me. I did not have to do anything crazy or wild. I did not have to stay sitting at home either. I had a mature evening that I really enjoyed. Oh my god, I’m an adult!
I’m not implying that being an adult means you’re boring or do not know how to have a good time. I’m actually stating the opposite, that I’ve reached a place in my life where I find more enjoyment in a relaxed evening out than in a party-all-night type scene. It may seem too laid back or not enough stimulation for some, but I find it perfect for an evening out. True, I am known to want to have a late night now and then; I still like dancing, of course! But I prefer more quiet evenings with friends than anything else, from taking in a movie to conversations over dinner or even game nights. Even better are the quiet evenings out with my husband, and I take those when I can get them.
I find it ironic that when we’re teenagers, we cannot wait to be adults. We want the freedom to make our own decisions, to drink, to smoke, to vote, to gamble, and to live on our own. I know I couldn’t wait to do or at least try all these things! Then, when we reach adulthood, we try so hard to still act so young. Everyone needs to get their “wild times” out, and it’s better to do it before you are older, with more responsibilities and stakes to keep in your life. I was always afraid of that point when you become a boring adult, the adult that never does anything fun and who lives each day the same. I thought that when I reached that, “I’m an adult” phase of my life that I would be dull and boring. With my kids, husband, house, school, and everything else in my life, I have had moments where I wonder if I am too boring or if I am just out of touch. Sadly, I have often felt that I reached this at way too young an age. I had my kids young, and even Andy has wondered if I will ever have that moment where I thought I grew up too fast. My mom always said I was an older brain in a younger body, so I never really worried about hitting that wall.
Tonight, I saw that I am only boring if I feel I am. There is nothing wrong with being happy with who I am and what I have become. So I’m not a club-type girl – I never really was. So I’m busier with my kids than with friends and partying – I’d rather be a wife and mom. So I would rather stay home and watch movies than go out drinking – my liver thanks me. My point is that I had a really good time tonight with friends, and I’ve never felt more like an adult than I do at this point in my life. It is great to meet and connect with people who are able to accept me as I am and to enjoy time with. If this is how adulthood and friendships can be, than I’m going to really enjoy my adulthood.